Culture Shock 101

I'm not sure what characteristics are trying to be developed in me - but I've been on a wild ride lately! They say the first 3 months in a new culture is the "honeymoon" phase - no problem. They say the second 3 months is the downhill slide. As you all know a lot of interesting things have happened to me in the past three months. So I decided to do some research on "culture shock". Here is what I found out below!

Outlined below is an example of the stages people go through with culture shock:

Stage 1 - Excitement

The individual experiences a holiday or 'honeymoon' period with their new surroundings.

They:
. Feel very positive about the culture
. Are overwhelmed with impressions
. Find the new culture exotic and are fascinated
. Are passive, meaning they have little experience of the culture

Stage 2 - Withdrawal

The individual now has some more face to face experience of the culture and starts to find things different, strange and frustrating.

They:
. Find the behaviour of the people unusual and unpredictable
. Begin to dislike the culture and react negatively to the behaviour
. Feel anxious
. Start to withdraw
. Begin to criticize, mock or show animosity to the people

Stage 3 - Adjustment

The individual now has a routine, feels more settled and is more confident in dealing with the new culture.

They:
. Understand and accept the behaviour of the people
. Feel less isolated
. Regains their sense of humour

Stage 4 - Enthusiasm

The individual now feels 'at home'.

They:
. Enjoy being in the culture
. Functions well in the culture
. Prefer certain cultural traits of the new culture rather than their own
. Adopt certain behaviours from the new culture



Well, the latest info. is that I've had another moto accident. I'm ok - but I will have a souvenir from the Congo - a circular scar on my right leg. I always said that I would never get a tattoo, but now I've been branded! Oh well! Maybe I'll reconsider the tattoo?

Don't worry - I'll keep you posted on the latest! School's out for summer - I just finished my church history class - 2000 years in 8 days! It was crazy and I'm tired now. This next week we are going to rest as a sabbath from the school year!

All my love - you guys prayers have been working!

Beginnings

Today is a new beginning. First of all, Meredith & I are starting a new small group based on the "Sonship" Program at lunch today. The whole program will be in English without translation so that students in other departments have the chance to interact in a small group with just english.

Tomorrow, I start my new class - History of Church and Spirituality. How do you combine 2000 years of history into an 8 day class? We will see! Stay tuned for all the gory details!

Last time I talked of endings - today its beginnings. Anyone who doesn't believe in the universe being cyclical - come talk to me! I have another beginning in my life this month - the possibility of being lovable! I have truly come to Africa to help transform others, but it is me, myself & I that is being transformed! I am overwhelmed and undone - but the happiest I've ever been in my whole life. I am so blessed and unworthy. I think of that Sound of Music song "I must have done something good." Throughout the crazy world of humanity, God has put people in my life to teach me lessons. Some of these lessons have been hard and painful to learn. Some of them have been delightful and lovely. I've just walked through both during the month of June. July is proving to be my idependence! I've let go of it all - and I know I am a stronger and better person for it! I am free indeed!

Goodbyes

Goodbyes are so hard - these past few weeks there have been many and it has been hard. In my life, a lot of people have left me. Unfortunately, it had been one of my many fears - abandonment. I am continuing to be amazed that I am surrounded by people who love me, even when I don't love myself. I have been blessed with great friends who encourage, support and lift me up. So when they have to walk away to go on with their own lives, it makes me sad. I know that they go on to what they need to do and that unfortunately, most people can't forget me! Lord knows that I am very UNIQUE!!!! They take my love with them when they travel and luckily most of them I already know I will see again. It's just hard - to let go!



This is one of my favorite poems that I think sums up my feelings:


"People - a reason, a season, a lifetime"

People always come into your life for a REASON, a SEASON, or a LIFETIME.

When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend too you, and they are. They are there for a reason...you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.

LIFETIME relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being part of my life.....

A Reason, A Season, and A Lifetime written by:Brian A. "Drew" Chalker©2002

By the way, my beloved friend and roommate Meredith Knuckles (Sandwich) has encouraged me to begin sharing my poetry. So, I am starting a new blog with my poems on it. If you want to read it feel free - they do not follow the "rules" of normal poetry - they are just the outpouring of my heart. Feel free to check it out here: http://soulnakedness.blogspot.com

Bachelor's Degrees

A couple of my friends from the English Club have surprised me this past month with a couple of excursions to places that would make me happy because they have to do with my bachelor's degrees. Most people here know me for theology, since that is all I have taught so far. However, I have a bachelor of science degree in forestry and a bachelor of arts degree in geology with both of them emphasizing hydrology.

The first trip was with my friends Malonga & Angello. They are friends with a family here in the town of Beni that have their own private estate with a park in it! It was amazing - check out my flickr photo site for some great pictures. It was just good to walk around the grounds looking at the flowers, to relax on a tree stump and talk and to just be surrounded by the beauty of nature! Plus, the family told me that I can come visit any time I want!

The second trip was with one of my students from English Club, Marveix. He wanted to take me to greet his parents and he just happens to live next to one of Beni's hydrology plants. So, he organized a tour for me with the plant managers. The picture above is me sitting at the reservoir.

The month of June truly has been about making true friends who want to share life with me and get to know me on a deeper level. All of this has given me even more blessings and life lessons than I could imagine!

It's gonna take a lot more than that to stop me!!!!

So, for those of you who have not heard - I was hospitalized last week!

Don't worry - I'm fine!

In fact, it took 4 separate issues to bring me all the way down - malaria, typhoid, hypertension and a bacterial infection.

The people in the hospital couldn't believe that this was the first time I had ever been in the hospital in my life!!!!

They took really good care of me and I'm doing well! I finish up my pills today!

Thank you for your love and support and you will hear more from me soon!

Driving in the Dark!

Interesting night last night -

We went to eat at Cafe' Hellinique and I was beyond excited with the fact that I got a fresh salad!

Well, we were on our way home and the van is broken down so we had to take motos. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal except it was after dark. We've heard stories of guys taking off with girls on motos after dark, because people can't see as well and do anything about it. Well, normally this doesn't even enter into my mind as a reason to worry.Of course, I temporarily forgot where I am - Africa.

So, we are all in a row going home and my moto driver doesn't follow the other motos with my friends on them - he continues on down the road. I then scream "Atcha!" Which is Stop! I swing my arm out and start yelling "A Gauche" which is "to the left" in french. Well, finally my moto driver takes the hint and realizes everyone else is not in front of us anymore.

Unfortunately, we are out of gas as well. So he pulls over to by gas from a street vendor. Then he realizes that he is even farther away from the other "wazungus" and he starts to worry. A lot of time the drivers forget that I know Swahili and they'll start talking not realizing that I understand them. So my driver starts freaking out. He says "I'm gonna get in trouble for taking this muzungu woman. They are going to capture me and put me in prison. I better get her there faster." And so he speeds up, trying to catch up to the others, but they are long gone.

The problem now becomes me staying on the back of the bike, because we are flying over these large bumps in the road and I am bouncing up and down on the back like a rag doll. Normally, the drivers go slow, but he was so worried about what they would do to him if they didn't get me home!So, of course me bouncing up and down on the back made me burst out laughing like crazy.

So now the driver thinks that I am laughing at him getting into trouble instead of laughing at me trying to hold on. This makes him even more scared because he thinks that I am excited that he is going to get in trouble. The moto driver now gets scared because he thinks now that maybe Grant is my husband. Well, if any of you have seen the pictures of Grant yet, you will know that Grant is a football player and as the Congolese are unusually small people anyway - he looks even bigger. So now the driver is terrified that Grant is going to beat him up and now I'm laughing even harder at the thought because Grant is a big teddy bear!

Finally, I get calmed down enough to tell the driver "Iko sawa sawa, hakuna matada! Tunarudi nyumbani sasa" Which is "It's fine, no worries! We return to my home now."The funniest thing of all, was that the others barely even noticed that I had deviated. The guy didn't have to worry about Grant beating him up!

All in all, it was an adventure of a night!

Choir Concert

On Sunday, the choir from UCBC - Ebenezer performed at CAP in Beni. We wanted to do a benefit for more music equipment. The whole concert was awesome because a lot of my Congolese friends got to come and see me sing in 4 different languages. I am excited about continuing my language development in lingala and french. It was fun to practice all of our Congolese dance moves as well! We raised over $500 for the music equipment - so it was all worth it!

I received a lot of compliments, but the best one of all came from my friend Noe'. He said, "April you just proved that you love us Congolese, by getting up there and singing and dancing the same way that we do!"